Hi there, I’m a pillow. Mr Comfy McPillow to be exact.
You may know me from mundane life experiences such as sleeping, providing comfort and support for a Netflix binge, or a weapon to whack someone over the head with when on camping trips. However you decide to remember me, I know you reminisce of me fondly. In fact, you may be taking comfort from me right now.
My mates and I come in all shapes and sizes plus a multitude of different designs, forms and levels of softness. Sometimes we’re just for decoration, sometimes we’re ergonomically designed for therapeutic needs. Occasionally we’re stuffed with something called memory foam, or feathers, or possibly latex and we can even assist with circulation and a good nights sleep. So yeah, we do heaps of cool shit.
But what’s the best part about being a pillow? I cater for everybody! ‘Leave no weary head behind!’, I always say. Whether you’re young or old, black or white, male or female, rich or poor – I’m there for you, I’ve got your fucking back. Literally! (more…)
Just in case anyone hasn’t noticed, our economy, the former darling of the OECD, is fast becoming a basket case.
There’s probably no need to be that dramatic, but us Aussies have some tough hurdles coming up. Now Benjamin Franklin once said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome. So I present an alternative: Part. II. Let’s get down to the nitty-gritty, shall we?
As stated in my previous post, the economy in my society will be structured along socialist lines and all economic ‘enterprises’ would be either self-employed individuals, worker-owned cooperatives or in rare cases state owned corporations. This would predominantly apply to public utilities or monopolized entities (rail, water & road infrastructure, electricity generation, waste management etc).
So in regards to the two former enterprises listed, I would argue that the goods produced and the services provided will belong to the individuals (or ‘the collective’ in regards to a co-op) who actually do the work. Under a capitalist system the owner of the capital exploits the labour of the workers and the natural environment for their own personal gain; in a socialist economy it will be cemented in law that there is a distinction between ownership of a company’s profits and ownership of a company’s capital goods.
So what this means is that anyone who works to produce those profits owns a share in them – but (more…)
Tony Abbott has stated a couple of times recently that if Australia doesn’t change course we’re destined to adopt a ‘Greek-style economic future‘ (i.e. contraction, stagnation etc.), pointing to his ‘deficit reduction’ as the remedy. Sadly his efforts are falling well short due to the fact he’s actually DOUBLED the deficit since coming to power. But never mind that embarrassing fact for the moment, I actually agree with Abbott – we are heading towards a social and economic calamity in this country sometime in the near future. But it won’t be the result of a trifle amount of debt left by his political fore-bearers. Oh no, it’s much worse…
Have you ever done one of those turds where you’re scared to wipe your arse afterwards? I have – and my inner monologue usually goes something like this whilst my pants are around my ankles and I’m breaking out in a sweat:
Jesus what did I eat? Is it… is it bleeding? This surely isn’t normal… ohh God I think I need a doctor… Ohh man, I feel like I’m shitting out a whole steak! I don’t even eat steak! Is there something wrong with my sphincter? Is that what it’s called… a sphincter? It’s literally just falling out of me now, it’s like a waterfall – this is so wrong! OK… catch your breath (don’t breathe too deeply though, it smells like death in here) the worst is over. It’s done. Finished.
Ohhh man, here we go again…! How is this possible? Oh Lord, why have you forsaken me!?!
And so it continues…
Everybody’s been there, and I can guarantee you that no one enjoys the experience. It’s one of the saddest jokes of life that we can put a man on the moon but we can’t yet pump out a poop without the possibility of the process ending in tears. (more…)
You might have missed it the other day, but someone in our Parliament’s Question Time actually put two-and-two together and queried something that I thought was painstakingly obvious. Greens Senator Larissa Waters questioned whether our ‘mad monk’ Prime Minister Tony Abbott (and other Catholic ministers like him) should pay attention to their most holy of bae’s when the Pope says it’s their moral duty to act on climate change.
The response to her queries went a little like this:
– Firstly, nobody even attempted to answer her question